Father, for I Have Sinned
by I.M. Elizabeth
Summary: When Mello finds his girlfriend hiding in the closet, both she and him are forced to face dark aspects of her childhood. Something that may cost Mello his own precious faith.   Mello/OC


**Father, for I Have Sinned.**

It was so cold outside that Mello almost had a hard time opening the door. His hands, although gloved still shook from the weather and it took him almost fifteen minutes to insert the key into the keyhole. It didn't help that he also had an armful of groceries in the other hand either.

Pushing the door open with his shoulder he walked into the kitchen, setting the two grocery bags onto the small wooden table that almost looked like it would collapse under the weight. Fishing through one of the bags he pulled out a box of chocolate bars and opened it hastily. In less than thirty seconds he had already bitten off a corner of one of the chocolate bars.

"Layla!" he called, glancing at his closed bedroom door. "Come on, I have food!"

He waited a moment, scratching the back of his head in a confused manner when no reply came. Normally Layla would have already been at the door, helping him with the food and the two of them would begin to bicker about something pointless.

He began to wonder where exactly she was, and he called her name again, unable to stop the annoyance that he found was creeping into his voice.

He strode to to the bedroom door, and tapped on it with his knuckle, "Layla, what are you doing?"

There was still no response and Mello sighed in anger, then turned the doorknob.

"Layla, goddamn it! I've called you-"

He stopped, puzzled as there was absolutely no one in the room whatsoever. Mello stepped inside his bedroom glancing around. Then he heard a slight whimper.

Acting almost on pure instinct Mello pulled his gun out of his his belt and shot a single bullet at the closet, before rushing to it and pushing the sliding wooden door aside.

He felt a surge of emotions, first relief, then confusion, then anger.

"Layla what the fuck are you doing in the closet?" he snarled, "I could have bloody well shot you!"

Layla lay curled by the corner of the dark closet, his various coats nearly hiding her from his view. It took him a moment to realize that she was crying and shaking violently.

His gun clattered on the wooden floor and he sank to his knees, crawling to her side. "Layla." he said sternly, "What is it? What happened? Did someone come in here? Did someone hurt you?"

She looked at him, her eyes seeming strangely out of focus. Mello grabbed her shoulders a little roughly and shook her. Her head bobbed for a moment and fell, like some kind of sick doll.

He wondered briefly if she'd taken some kind of drug and he tilted her chin upward, trying to get a better look at her eyes.

It was strange, as if someone had doused cold water on her and suddenly she stood.

"What the fuck-" Mello started to say until he watched her totter to the doorway and retch.

"Shit," he spat, leaping up to help her to the bathroom. He half carried her to the toilet, pulling her hair back as she continued to vomit into the basin. After a moment of rubbing her back, Layla pulled away, her eyes seemingly cleared.

"What the fuck were you on?" Mello asked, trying to sound gentle but unable to keep the anger out of his voice.

She wiped her mouth on the back of her hand, still seeming a little shaky. "I didn't take anything. Just...saw something."

"Saw what?" Mello said, leaning forward.

"A man...reading the bible."

Mello couldn't help but let out a snort of laughter, "A man reading the bible made you hide in the closet, cry, and puke?"

She looked angrier than he had ever seen her before, her eyes flashing in a way that both infuriated him and frightened him.

"Fuck you. Never mind. Fuck off." she spat, in a vehemency that was quite unlike her.

This was different, he could tell. This was something he'd never seen in her, this honest anger and he could have sworn that he could see a hint of fear in her eyes.

"Kiska," he said gently gripping her shoulder firmly, "Tell me what happened."

Mello didn't usually use his russian nickname for her very often, as it made him feel like a wuss or a loser when he did, but as he had thought before, this seemed a little different.

She didn't say much at first, only chewed at the end of her thumbnail, but then after a few minutes of Mello staring intently at her she cracked.

"Remember...when I came to Wammy's?" she said, her voice soft and far away.

Mello nodded, it was one of the few memories he treasured as it was one of the few moments he had with both her and L at the same time.

"Well, before that, I grew up in Estonia. You know how last week you said L had felt sorry for me? Well, I guess you were right. He'd walked in on the middle of my mother giving me this exorcism."

Mello sucked in his cheeks, his eyes widening a little, "An exorcism? Like...like a Christian exorcism?"

She nodded, "Mama was a devout catholic, not like you...but...she was crazy about God. I remember we couldn't watch television, couldn't read certain books, and it seemed like all we were ever allowed to do was go to church and pray."

Mello nodded, hinting for Layla to go on with her story.

"I think I was around five years old when I started seeing Sidoh. He'd been lonely and I found out he'd slipped a piece of his Death Note into one of the bibles at the church I attended daily. But, you know...no one else could see him. So after a few weeks mama took notice of me talking to myself...and she took me to some Estonian priest. They said I was possessed."

He had known Layla and Sidoh's history had gone far back. He'd remembered her talking about him from their days in Wammy's house. It had sort of all clicked in his head when he had met the Shinigami after he'd first gotten hold of the Death Note. Hence why he hadn't seemed too surprised to see the creature there in the first place.

"So they said you were possessed, and what happened?" Mello said, watching her intently.

Layla took a shuddering gasp and shook her head, almost like she was about to cry. "I had weekly exorcisms, involving crazy things. I was held under holy water, I wasn't allowed anything but bread and water for weeks at a time. And when I was watching some Estonian channel today, the priest that used to help my mother with the exorcisms was on the tv and he..."

She faltered then, her breath hitching in her throat repeatedly and Mello realized that Layla was about to break down in tears. This was a different kind of crying, not the angry kind he was so used to from her but the frightened kind, the hurt kind.

Without thinking he pulled her into him, holding her tightly against his chest. It was as if his touch triggered something deep inside of her and she broke, a fountain of tears spilling forth as she bawled against his jacket.

"He was reading this fucking scripture," she wailed, her body convulsing violently. "And I remembered it Mello, I remembered it. Because he read that over me when I was being exorcised, he told my mother she'd have to beat the demons out of me."

Mello wanted her to stop, wanted her to stop telling him these things, to stop making her disbelief in the faith he held so dear seem rational.

He held her tightly, not wanting to let her go. Not wanting to see her face, to acknowledge that she too had her fair share of childhood pain and see that innocent hurt little girl in her eyes.

She clung to him, her face pressed tightly against him. The next thing she said came out in a whisper, "When I knew it was time to have these exorcisms...I'd hide in the closet, when I heard his voice...I-I couldn't...I thought I was there again."

"It's alright," Mello said thickly, pressing his cheek against her head. After a long moment of silence she looked up at him and he brushed back the brown hair that stuck to her cheeks, placing a kiss on her forehead.

"Mello," she said softly, her cheek resting on his shoulder, "I'm so tired."

"I know." he said gently, picking her up in his arms and walking back to his bedroom.

When they reached the bed he pulled back the covers and placed her on the sheets. She looked frightened at first, like a small child and reached out to grasp at his hand.

"Please don't leave me Mello." she begged, her eyes frantic and pleading.

"I won't Kiska, I won't." he reassured, "I'll be right in the kitchen. I have to put up the groceries."

She looked up at him, her eyes still fearful. Without thinking, Mello pulled off his jacket and placed it over her before pulling the covers up over her chest. "I'll be back Layla, I promise. When you wake up I will be right beside you. You'll be safe."

He turned his back on her once she closed her eyes and went back into the kitchen where the groceries thankfully had not spoiled, only perspired. He put them away, stopping to wipe the table off with the edge of his shirt.

"Ega katk, mis kõnnib pimeduses, ega hävitamise et wasteth kell Keskpäev!"

Mello jumped and scowled looking at the television. A man was on the screen in a priestly garb, slamming his fist on the stand and yelling loudly. He waved the bible with an almost feverish frenzy.

This was the man whom Layla spoke of? This was the man who instilled such fear in her and had caused L to bring her to Wammy's house? Almost instantly he shook with rage. Such lies, such hate was in this man's voice.

Snarling angrily, Mello raised his boot to the television shoving it over where the glass shattered all over the hardwood flooring.

_Stupid, pretentious Estonian bastard,_ he thought, rage building deep into his chest. _She's mine! Mine. I should be able to kill you._

He sighed, disgusted and flung his rosary to the floor before going back to the bedroom. Layla now lay sleeping, her hands tightly tangled against Mello's coat

He lay beside her, wrapping his arms around her, a single thought looping through his head. _I'll protect you. I'll protect you. I'll do anything to protect you._


End file.
